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HALLOWEEN JOKES

What instrument does a skeleton play?
The Trom-bone

What games do Witches play at Halloween?
Hide and Shriek!

What do ghouls do at garage sales?
They go bargain Haunting.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet 

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties

What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other?
Cut it out!
 

 
What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash

Why did the mummy go to the doctor?
Because she was coffin

Why did the Vampire go to the Orthodontist?
To improve his bite

Why do Vampires use mouthwash?
Because they have BAT breath
EASTER JOKES

EASTER JOKES

What do you call a Bunny with fleas?
BUGS BUNNY  

Why did the easter eggs hide?
He was a little chicken
 
How do you send  the Easter Bunny a cardl?
By hare mail

What dance do Easter Bunies do?
The bunny hop 

What did one colored egg say to the other?
Heard any good yolks lately?

What kind of beans never grow in a garden?
Jelly beans! 

What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold
 
How does the Easter bunny travel? 
By hareplane

What do you call an egg that's tired?        
Egg-zosted

What day does an  Easter egg hate?
FRY-DAY

How do Easter bunnies stay healthy? 
They egg-ercise

What do you call an Easter Bunny  who tells jokes?
A funny bunny

What did one Easter egg say to the other?
Heard any good "yolks" lately?


What did the father ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
Spook when you're spooken to!

What runs but never walks?
Water

What has one foot and four legs?
A bed

What house weighs the least?
A lighthouse

What starts with e, ends with e, but has only one letter?
An envelope

What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin

What is a myth?
A female moth

What does a cat have that no other animal has?
Kittens

What bank never has any money? 
A riverbank

What are two things you can't have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


SCHOOL JOKES

VALENTINE JOKES

What did the boy squirrel give the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
Forget-me-nuts

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your valentine

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses


Knock, knock.
Who's there?

Frank.
Frank who?
Frank you for being my valentine

Knock, knock.
Who's there?

Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be my valentine?


What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
I'm nuts about you!

What do whales say on Valentine's Day?
Whale you be mine?

What do snakes say on Valentine's day?
Gimme a little hiss

What do owls say on Valentine's Day?
Owl be yours


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Sabrina.
Sabrina who?
Sabrina long time since I’ve been back to school

Knock Knock!
Who’s there
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework, Dad

Knock, Knock
Who's there?

Carrie
Carrie who?
Carry my books?

Knock Knock
Who's there!
B-2!
B-2 who?
B-2 school on time

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Don Juan!
Don Juan who?
Don Juan to go to school today



Knock Knock
Who's there?
Electron
Electron who?
Electron for class president


Knock Knock
Who's there?

Pasta
Pasta who?
Pasta salt please

What kind of lights did Noah use for the ark?
Floodlights!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony
 
What did they wear at the Boston Tea Party?
T-Shirts!




VALENTINE JOKES

MORE KNOCK KNOCK
CHRISTMAS JOKES

Knock-Knock
Who's There
Igloo
Igloo who?
Igloo Santa, like I knew Santa...

Knock-Knock
Who's There

Mary
Mary who?
Mary-Christmas!


Why does Santa have three gardens?    
He likes to "Hoe, hoe, hoe!".

What are snowmen's favorite breakfast food?    
Frosted Flakes

Where do snowmen go to dance ?
   
Snowballs

What did the snowgirl say to her favorite snowboy ?
 I love you SNOW much !

What does Tarzan sing and Christmas?
Jungle Bells

Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
 He was feeling a little crummy.

What do cows say at Christmas
MOO-EY Christmas

What do you get when you cross a reindeer with a cow
 
Sleigh Bulls

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?

Avery merry Christmas

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight 

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?

About a wick !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?

A pineapple


 wHow long does it take to burn a candle down ?
Chris
Knock Knock
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